This is a guest post by Brad Howard of Clever Mink’s, a quirky little gift shop at 711 Carnarvon. Brad’s offering 20% off anything in store until the end of February for Tenth To The Fraser readers who mention having read this piece. – Briana

I’m not taking a tropical vacation this winter and, who knows, maybe you’re not either. There’s a lot of that going around these days. So in my own little mind I’ve made Sanity Island my go-to spot for this winter. It’s located between St. Kitt’s and St. Somewhere and naturally it’s lovely with its brilliant beaches gently hugging turquoise lagoons while up behind is a towering but peaceful volcanic peak that is draped in orchids and the startling lush greenness that’s only seen in the tropics. Sure it’s pretty but the thing that really makes Sanity Island special is the rules. Odd, I know but it’s true.

No fretting, fear-mongering or fatuousness allowed. This effectively prohibits most politicians and news media. One night per week on Sanity Island might be given over to an evening debate of the main issues of our times which would then be discussed and dissected amicably, learnedly and with the interests of all given consideration. After that out come the rum drinks with the little umbrellas. And maybe a conga line.

No harbouring hatred, heaping scorn or hanging wallpaper. No room on the island for any of that. Go and have a long walk on the beach. Admire the mountain.

No treachery or turpitude or trolls. Sorry, Wall St. but Sanity Island is no place for you. It looks as if you may just have to go buy your own island with your big bailout bucks. Of course, your new island quite possibly could be inhabited by cash-eating trolls. Pity.

No braggadocio, no brutality and no buzzwords. By now it should be obvious that such things are not done on Sanity Island and no one while on the island need fear being told to think outside the box or to do anything synergistically. Think and do as you want so long as you follow the rules.

Thanks for joining me on a quick trip to my own wintertime getaway. Of course you may prefer to create your own slice of tropical wonder right there in your own cranium and unless you’ve heard something that I haven’t, it’s still a perfectly legal and ridiculously cheap vacation. And deciding who to keep out is almost as much fun as deciding who to bring along.

If you read this bit of doggerel or scanned it or at least read a line or two before moving on to something important and you happen to mention that fact to us at 711 Carnarvon St. then you’ve just earned yourself 20% off anything in the store until the end of February.

Working to make New West minksier since, well, last year.

Clever Mink’s

711 Carnarvon St. New Westminster

Ask for Nancy or her sidekick, Brad

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