The first year we paid any attention to the Queen’s Park Neighbourhood Garage Sale (which happens annually all over the Queen’s Park Neighbourhood on the Saturday before Mother’s Day) was 2008, the year my son Fresco was a month old. My partner Saint Aardvark, took our older son, almost-two-year-old Trombone out and they came home with a plastic microphone and a book. Fresco and I stayed home and probably slept, as you do when you are either a month-old infant or that infant’s mother.
Last year, we went all together. Trombone was delighted to get a bunch of trains for fifty cents and Fresco was delighted to sit in the buggy and be handed random items to look at. SA almost bought a manual coffee grinder and has regretted not buying it ever since. We came home happy with a pop-up playhouse / puppet theatre and a spice rack. Sweeter days we never knew!
This year, wrapped up in nostalgia for wonderful garage sales past, (SA was sure he’d find his coffee grinder again) we made some crucial errors in judgment.
1. I let SA sleep in until 8:30. While a lovely gesture, it also meant I was the one to get up stupid-early with the kids. By the time we were all ready to walk around the neighbourhood for 4 hours I was a little cranky. The children, of course, had been ready to go at 7:00. By 9:00, they were not at all about “listening!” or “holding my hand crossing the street!” or “putting That DOWN!” Or, frankly, being rational and yes, I do sometimes appreciate rationality from my under-Fives.
2. We only took the single seat for the buggy, thinking Trombone could walk. OK, yes, he should walk more but 4 hours of walking? Is beyond an almost-four-year-old. It was practically beyond me.
3. We kept forgetting to restrain two-year-old Fresco, who, every time we pulled up to a new house, made an exaggerated gasping noise and launched himself out of the buggy to touch/knock over/covet/tantrum about not getting everything within his reach.
4. Let’s consider the concept of “garage sale” from a child’s point of view.
First, your mom talks it up all morning so you’re more excited than Easter X Christmas + Unicorns! X Trains!
Then, you have to walk 5 blocks before anything happens.
You don’t remember last year because you have the long-term memory of a goldfish at this age.
Finally: you get to a house and there are toys all over the lawn! But you can’t touch them.
Your mom buys you a frog umbrella for $1. You like that part! Then it’s time to keep walking.
You get to another house, with more toys. You forget about the frog umbrella. (short term memory: selective at best)
Your mom keeps telling you that the things on the lawn cost money but the lawn isn’t a store! Why do the things cost money? Why are they on the lawn?
It was like all the over-stimulation and blind obsession with Where’s The Next Thing! of Christmas. But outside. On other peoples’ property. Without the rum and eggnog.
5. Thinking that if we just got them each something to look at at the first table, then we would be able to browse undisturbed for another 6 blocks. It would seem that those days are over.
6. Buying a giant set of plastic blocks that, when put together, make a 4 foot square castle, but deciding we could carry it home. Hindsight says: GO BACK LATER WITH THE CAR.
Yes, that was us you saw struggling down 6th Avenue, laden with two tired, heavy children, an orange buggy, three garbage bags full of plastic blocks, an electric guitar, an umbrella, two unnecessary jackets and a Richard Scarry book. At noon.
But we only spent $8.25 on everything! And we got lots of exercise! And it was a beautiful day!
Leaving the house with kids can be very hard work. Such hard work that it is often tempting to just not do it. I can’t get away with staying home anymore; my kids need to be run like dogs and if we don’t leave the house in the morning, that morning will end with me getting tied up and scribbled on with Sharpie or with a guitar being smashed over someone’s head, ’70s-rock-band-style. Some days are better than others; success depends on moods, moons, weather, sleep, etc. Where we’re going is also important, but not as important as you might think. You would think that children would be more eager and cooperative if they knew they were going someplace fun. I still fall for this occasionally but it is Not So. Children are eager and cooperative when it suits them and not a second earlier and definitely not for the reasons you are grasping at so desperately.
I should qualify: children Fresco’s age, ie: pre-Two, are pretty malleable and if you say Let’s Go Outside! he will get you his boots, your boots, your coat, your purse, your keys, and then complain that you haven’t left yet. After Two, like the day after he turns Two, I am planning to dress him in his sleep and carry him under one of my arms like a bazooka.
Children Trombone’s age (3.5) love to thwart. Because they can. You can say to Trombone, we are going to the guitar factory which is full of M&Ms and guitars and you will get to play four thousand different guitars and eat M&Ms until you are just shy of puking. OK? Shall we go? And he will say, wow that sounds like fun, I just have to finish playing this elaborate game that no one understands, which involves pretend-play, intricate choreography and at *least* 10 minutes more of pondering on my part. I will join you momentarily, ie: in one hour.
So I have one child who needs an hour’s work to get him out of the house. And I have another child who needs to have words spelled around him because he will throw himself at the front door if he hears the word “out.” Which brings me back to the first child, who can’t spell yet. What do I do?
#1. Plan ahead.
Hours ahead. If you intend to be somewhere by 9:30 am, start preparing at 7 am. This morning I decided we were going to Motoring Munchkins, which is a gym program at the nearby Queens Park Arenex. It is a gymnasium full of gymnastics equipment, plastic toy structures for climbing, balls, hoops, sticks, ride-em cars, etc. There is also a trampoline. Mostly it is for the kind of run-crazy-like-a-crazy-running-thing exercise that children need to make them sleep all afternoon so their mothers can document it in their blogs. We don’t go very often because it is at least as much work for me as it is fun for them, though the scales are starting to tip in this department. At 7:30 am I whispered to Trombone, a little later we will go to the gym, OK? And Trombone said, Yeah! OK! and promptly forgot.
An hour later, I said, OK, time to start getting dressed. Why? Because we’re going to the GYM!
Half an hour after that, I said, OK, time to get shoes on. Why? The GYM, of course!
Half an hour after that, we were on our way. Motoring Munchkins starts at 9:30. There were already quite a few people there when we arrived at 9:45. I am not the only clever monkey in this city, clearly.
#2. Do not let your resolve fade.
It is easy to let the children become distracted by things in the house because it occupies them and keeps them quiet (until they start fighting over the things they are distracted by) but the pause is too short and not worth it because within 10 minutes you will have to re-motivate not only them, but you. This morning as I was staring at the children laying waste to the living room when what I had asked them to do was put their boots on, something they can each do just fine if it’s bathtime or suppertime, I said it out loud to myself: “Be resolved. Make this happen.” They both looked at me. “Boots.” I said, “Focus.” I may or may not have actually tapped my forehead when I said this. Like a guru.
Don’t forget them. You can get by without a spare diaper, probably (depending on the age of your baby)(and depending on who you ask)(ie: my better half, Saint Aardvark) but snacks are important. Best arranged while the children are looking elsewhere, otherwise they will want to eat them while you are still at home, even if they just finished a nice, lingering breakfast five minutes ago. If they eat the snacks at home, this will of course result in a) them being harder to motivate and b) no snacks later, when you need them for bribery in the store to stop them from making That Noise while you try to choose a cereal, or to get them out of the gym before somebody loses a body part. Make sure, if you have two children, that the snacks are identical in attractiveness. Meaning: if child A loves cheese but child B doesn’t, it’s okay if you don’t have enough cheese for both of them but if you have OMG SQUEE dried cranberries BEST SNACK EVAR enough for only one, woe betide you.
That’s it. That’s all you need * for a successful trip out of the house. Planning ahead, resolve, and snacks**.
* Coffee. Also. Beforehand. It helps with the resolve.
** Don’t forget snacks for you. Or you’ll have to sneak something out of the vending machine and then you’ll have to a) share or b) explain why you get a vending machine treat and they don’t.
This morning, it worked. It all came together and we had an enjoyable time running around the gym like crazy people. An hour is about as long as we can tolerate Motoring Munchkins. I’m unsure if everyone is like this or if we are especially delicate flowers but after an hour, Fresco starts wandering out into the lobby to bother the drinking fountain and Trombone starts staring off into space and I start feeling the ache in my eyeballs that means I’ve been scanning a room of screaming kids that all look like mine for just a few minutes too long. So we go. I see people there who have their snacks and then go back to playing; which makes sense, it does cost money to drop in ($3.25 for the first child, $1.00 per additional; cheaper if you buy a pass) but we just can’t handle it. After an hour inside with the screaming and frenzy, the fresh air felt like sweet, scented oil on my skin. As we walked back to the grocery store through Queen’s Park, the trees moist and green above us, the kids quietly eating their snacks, I thought: easy. This is so easy. Why do I ever have bad days?
This is a guest post by Clara Cristofaro and Kerry Sauriol, two local moms who have successfully navigated the sometimes confusing world of cloth diapering!
Kerry’s hold on sanity is her computer and the world of mommy bloggers. She can ignore the chaos created by three kids, three cats, a dog and patient husband and find the peace it takes to come up with her latest post at her personal site Crunchy Carpets. Apart from obsessive Tweeting and Facebooking, she can also be found haranguing people to post on her other site Wet Coast Women.
Clara is a writer, mother and compulsive wisecracker currently enjoying an extended leave of absence from her boring office job. A recent transplant to New Westminster, Clara is an only child, a dog person and prefers her coffee, beer, and chocolate to be as dark as possible. She is also quite tall. She documents her life for the Internet at her personal blog, the cheeseblog and tweets the details as torturedpotato.
Talking Cloth with Kerry (mom of 3) and Clara (mom of 2)
We are two Metro Vancouver moms who banged our heads together and let all the information about cloth diapers fall out – into this post. We both believe that whatever works for you and your family is the only absolute best way to do things.
Clara: I started using cloth diapers when my first son was born in 2006. We used a diaper service for the first three months and then I bought our own supply from various local and online stores. My second son was born 18 months ago, when my first was almost 2, so we had two kids in cloth diapers for about a year.
Kerry: I am a cloth diaper newbie. I never even thought about them until this third child was on her way. My sudden interest in them was due mainly to the cost of disposables and the whole icky landfill thing. I started talking to cloth diaper users and surfing the net for more information. I even checked out a workshop done by Vancouver Company New and Green. It was very helpful, but I still found the whole thing a bit daunting. I still do. I think we are now spoiled for choice. The biggest issue I find in cloth diapering is the initial cost. Getting started can put a dent in your wallet. There are options though..used, renting out starter kits, and the millions of ‘types’ of cloth diapers.
Talking to ‘pros’ about cloth diapers helps you narrow your choices!
Clara: I believe there are as many ways to deal with your child’s excrement as there are stars in the sky. I am a part timer: we use cloth at home during the day and disposables overnight and when we go out for more than two hours or on vacation. (What? Oh you caught me. Of course we won’t be taking a vacation until well after these kids are out of diapers.)
If I was starting with cloth diapers right now, this is what I would use, based on what I’ve learned over the past three years:
Disposables until the baby is 10 lbs
newborns have runny, watery poop and lots of it. There were no cloth diapers I could find for a 8 – 10 lb baby that didn’t somehow gape or leak, necessitating frequent costume changes and you just don’t want to change a newborn any more than you have to because they scream like nobody’s business.
I also found that the diapers and covers combination rubbed against the baby’s umbilical stump and irritated it. The stump is supposed to stay clean and dry and having a moist cloth against it didn’t seem conducive to healing (to be fair, the disposables did this too but they were easier to manipulate so that they were just below the stump)
Kerry: I agree with this even though with my giant baby (9 lb 7 oz) I didn’t really have to ‘wait’ till she was over ten lbs, and found the fitted diapers that I had to work quite well.
And the insane amount of changes means you would need a crazy amount of small cloth diapers to get through this part anyway.
Fitted diapers with covers from 12 weeks – 6 months:
This is the easiest and fastest way to get a diaper on a baby. The fitted diapers are elasticized or fitted around the thighs and this helps prevent leaks.
No folding involved, which becomes important when the baby starts rolling and then crawling away from you. You need to move fast and diaper faster.
I found this to be the bulkiest form of cloth diapering and when the baby is this young, I don’t feel so bad that its butt is so big and padded. When babies get more mobile, from 6 months and up, I like the diapers to be more slim cut so that they can experiment with movement.
Pocket diapers from 6 months until switching to training pants or underpants
They are slim and trim and allow the baby as much freedom of movement as a disposable
They are as fast to apply on a squirming, screaming toddler as a disposable
They wash and dry beautifully because they separate into two parts – in fact they can air dry in an hour, which saves dryer energy.
I also recommend:
Flushable diaper liners for 6 months and up or whenever you start solid foods and start getting solid waste as your reward. These liners are like 10-ply toilet paper. If dirty, they can be dropped in the toilet and flushed away. If they are only wet, you can launder them with your diapers and re-use them until they start to fall apart. (My personal record for re-use is 3.)
A way to store the dirty diapers until laundry time. I use these drawstring, nylon bags (bummis) and one of these – they pull closed to keep the smell in and they go right in the washing machine with the diapers. I like the bag method over the diaper pail because then I’m not fishing around in a pail with my hands, pulling out soiled diapers to put in the washer. I just up-end the bag, toss it in too, shut the door. Granted, this would be easier with a top loading washer but it’s not impossible with our front-loader.
The dirty diapers go in the drawstring bag hanging from our stair railing or in the bag-lined pail at the top of the stairs, near the washing machine. I empty the bags into our washer and run the diapers through with hot water and a tablespoon of detergent (any kind you like but the less the better as the soap can leave a film on the diapers and then they won’t absorb as well) as well as ¼ cup of white vinegar for the rinse. On the rare occasion that the diapers still smell when the wash is done, I run them through another cold cycle with more vinegar. Then, into the dryer or on to our drying rack.
I would have thought that leaving a bag full of wet & soiled diapers for a day or two would have created an almighty stench but actually it does not. I have heard of putting a few drops of tea tree oil in the diaper pail to neutralize odour. That sounds lovely and I’m sure it would work. But I found that unless I was standing right over the diaper pail, inhaling, it wasn’t a problem. Not nearly as stinky as one dirty disposable in a garbage can. Seriously.
Kerry’s Routine: The cleaning of these things so far (with a 10 week old) has been easy. I tend to just toss the fitted diapers and cloth liners and covers right into my top loading washer. I have a button on my machine to fill the tub with water (cold) with as much water as I need and I soak them in there until I get around to actually washing the whole load. I don’t have a big supply of diapers at the moment so this is every other day right now. Disposing of the poop is easy too…specially if you use the biodegradable liners.
As the poop and so on gets worse, I know I will have to follow more stringent washing procedures.
Clara: I have heard of people padding their kids up with extra cloth diapers overnight. My kids are heavy wetters and I never managed a combination for overnight that didn’t result in night waking (to be avoided at Any Cost) so we use a disposable overnight.
Kerry: I swing between disposable and cloth at night. Depends how sleepy I am. All those snaps get complicated in the dark.
Out and about
Clara: When I had only one child I had a diaper bag stocked with cloth diapers. I was very well organized. It is possible to do it if you carry a small wet bag to put the dirties in. When the second child was born I had to make some decisions about how to streamline my routine and ensure that I was not running around like a headless chicken. One of those decisions was to keep the diaper bag / accoutrements / stuff that prevents me from getting out of the house before noon as simple as possible. For me, that means disposables.
Kerry: I have a bag for the dirty diapers and usually one or two cloth and a wad of disposables stuffed in my too-small diaper bag.
Hidden Advantages of Using Cloth
Kids feel when they are wet, which helps when it’s toilet training time
You can make your own diapers if you’re handy – there are tonnes of patterns and resources online for this. My friend even designed her own pocket diaper for her kids. This saves a loooooot of money – assuming you have the time.
You can re-use laundered wipes. When a disposable wipe gets washed it gets really soft. I use mine to wipe my children’s noses. I tell them they are special tissues.
If you opt, as we did, to buy 50 prefold diapers (like these) you can use them in perpetuity to clean floors, wash windows or soak up spilled coffee. After they’ve been washed 100 times they are the most absorbant paper towel you will ever meet: and bonus! they’re not paper! In fact, I recommend everyone go out and buy 10 prefold diapers (they are about $2.50 a piece) just to have around the house in case your cat throws up or your children get into a yogurt fight.
Kerry: I too have found the prefolds to be great dusters and window washers…just a bit em…awkward for their actual use!
The greatest hurdle for me has been FINDING the diapers. Finding them easily and cheaply and in person. The vast selection of online stuff is great, unless you are like me and need to see and touch the things to figure out if you want to buy them.
Clara: Totally true. I did the majority of my research when my first child was not even sitting up yet. I had the luxury of time and a paid maternity leave to fund my cloth diaper purchases. If I were just starting out with cloth diapers now, with 2 kids, I would definitely be frustrated by the lack of local, affordable options.
Kerry: As I mentioned before, my biggest issue is the initial cost of setting yourself up with the cloth diapers. I think this expenditure is detrimental and discouraging to many, especially those on a tighter budget. Each diaper can range in price from $12 to $20 each. Times that by 30 and yowza. Add liners and covers and then add the thought of special bags, detergents, etc etc and I think many would-be cloth diaper users run for the simple allure of the disposable.
I have seen used diapers being sold on Craigslist. If you don’t have a friend who can donate or sell them to you, I highly recommend this as the way to start. Also, just buy one or two of the different types out there to start. You have to figure out what works for you and your baby and the less spent and potentially wasted, the better.
I don’t feel guilty for the using the disposables with my cloth diapers. I am still sending less of them to the landfill, and one of these days, when I figure it all out, will actually spend LESS money too.
Kids Kloset in Sapperton (420 E. Columbia Street, New Westminster) carries a selection of cloth diapers, including my faves, the Bum Genius 3.0 and the Kushies diaper liners.
Unlimited Discount Diapers in Point Grey (4330 W. 10th Ave) has a vast selection of fitted diapers and covers, prefolds in bleached and unbleached cotton.
Room 4 Two (1409 Commercial Drive) has a great supply of the Kushies liners
TJ’s Kids World (various locations in the Lower Mainland) has a variety of Kushies cloth diapers and covers for reasonable prices.
New And Green (Vancouver) http://www.newandgreen.com/index.php
Jamtots (Victoria) http://www.jamtots.com
Weecare Diaper Company (Langley) http://weecarediapercompany.com
Flat Diaper – This is the “old style” large rectangle of cloth that the last generation of cloth diaperers used. A flat diaper must be folded so that it is thicker in the middle, then into a kite or triangle shape and pinned or fastened around the baby. Add a PUL or wool cover and you are ready for action.
Prefold – Prefold diapers , pre-folded and stitched in multiple layers of cotton or hemp so they are more absorbant. This saves you one step over the flat diaper; you only need fold a prefold into a diaper shape and pin or fasten around the baby. I bought a supply of these to use with my first son because they are economical ($25 a dozen) and we used small ones when my second son was a newborn. After a certain age, trying to fold, pin and cover becomes prohibitively exhausting.
Fitted – A fitted diaper goes one step further than a prefold and is sewn in diaper “shape.” Fitted diapers often fasten around the baby’s waist with velcro like these Kushies or sometimes require fastening with diaper pins or a fastener like a snappi (see below). A fitted diaper is just cloth so you still need a waterproof cover.
Cost: you’re paying for two pieces, the diaper and the cover. Fitted diapers range in price from $10 – $20 each. I am still using some Kushies fitted diapers that I bought three years ago, a five-pack for $40. Covers are about the same price, $12 apiece, but you only need 2 – 4 of them, since you can use the same cover until it gets dirty.
Pocket diaper – A pocket diaper is two parts: the pocket, which is made of a waterproof material and which fastens using velcro or snaps, and the stuffer, which is a long pad that goes into the pocket and absorbs the pee. Pocket diapers are expensive. The ones I like are called and I paid $21 each. But if a pocket diaper is made well it can last at least two years. (I say at least because that is how long I’ve had mine.) Some pocket diapers are sized (ie: S,M,L) but others, like the Bum Genius 3.0, are adjustable so that they fit kids from 7 – 35 lbs.
Snappi Fastener – Someone invented this as an alternative to diaper pins and it is pretty sweet. I stole this definition from the website because I couldn’t define it any better without saying “doohickey” a lot.
“An EASY to use fastener that offers a PRACTICAL and RELIABLE way to fasten a cloth diaper, replacing the diaper pin. It comes in a variety of colors and is made from a stretchable non-toxic material, which is T-shaped with grips on each end. These grips hook into the diaper fabric to ensure a snug-fitting diaper with enough natural movement for the baby.”
Cover – A cover goes over your favourite cloth diaper to prevent your child’s clothes from getting soaked with pee. They can be made with PUL (polyurethane laminate), wool or fleece. They fasten with snaps or Aplix/VELCRO® or if wool, just pull up like underpants. these covers and these covers were my favourites because they were breathable and not too stiff. I also loved my wool cover, which was miraculous (waterproof! Breathable!) and expensive ($30!) and got eaten by moths. If you can knit, there are patterns for wool covers out there.