Women on Wednesdays (WoW), a local group established to create space for women to gather and strengthen their participation in the democratic process, is hosting an exciting workshop in two weeks on Wednesday, December 5th.
See Something, Say Something: Confronting Harm for Women in Leadership is an event being held jointly by New West’s own WoW (Women on Wednesday) and FACEBC (Feminist Association for Collaborative Education).
After a moment where they didn’t know how best to speak up, WoW’s organizers Councillor Nadine Nakagawa and Trudi Goels realized there is a great opportunity to learn. They partnered with FACEBC and both are excited to host this important event in New Westminster.
In this workshop, participants will examine some of the tools that women in leadership roles can use to draw attention to someone’s harmful behavior, or draw the community’s attention to harm. What is a call in? What is a call out? What other ways can we confront harm? When is each method of confronting harm appropriate and what are the risks associated with each? This workshop will explore the ways we can have these difficult discussions in compassionate and community building ways.
This workshop is reserved for women-identified, transgender and non-binary folks.
There are tickets available through the FACBC website https://www.facebc.org/ on a sliding scale and free tickets are available by emailing Amanda@FaceBC.org. Your ticket includes a hearty vegan meal (sorry it is not allergen free).
The event details are:
Wednesday December 5th
7:00 to 9:00 PM
350 Columbia Avenue – New Westminster
The venue is accessible with a ramp at the front door, elevator to get between floors, and the bathrooms will be marked gender neutral for the evening.
I’m a prairie kid. I’ve lived on the west coast for half my life now, but my shoulders still relax when I hit the flat land. Sometimes I pretend I am there when I drive the 17 to Tsawwassen . . .
I came to Vancouver for grad school, and landed a federal job as I was finishing my thesis. I used to say I got stuck. Used to say I don’t get this rain thing; you get wet. But after 24 years I can now maneuver an umbrella with the best of them.
My first husband used to say that if you are going to live in Vancouver, live in Vancouver. Then we moved to Burnaby. We purchased a brand new townhouse. Got a dog. Had a kid. Then we ended.
Leap forward ten years. Ten soul searching, demon releasing, voice finding years. I can hear the rain as I write this – the cars on Columbia – and perhaps catch a glimpse of a tug on the Fraser if I get up from my chair and look out the living room window of my high rise apartment.
I was still living in Burnaby when I met the Man from New West. I want to use geography and weather analogies to describe him but that feels trite. He was a force. A big, huge, rolling personality. His dog is mine now, and the aging Boston Terrier can get some air when he greets you. With all four paws off the ground and a teethy grin, I am always reminded of his first owner.
My second husband lived in New West for most of his time on the West Coast. He was a Toronto boy, but you couldn’t hear it in his intonation. When I met him he had been a bus driver for over five years and so he knew parts of the Lower Mainland in great detail, but he most especially knew New West. And when I – out of a very old habit – wanted to drive into Vancouver for something, he would always suggest that we could find the same closer to the Fraser.
It’s thanks to the Man from New West that the pier boardwalk became a regular part of my life, and that 3rd Avenue hill. Angelina’s and Amelia’s. The Neil Douglas Guitar Shop and Royal City Jewellers were part of our regular routines, as we went down an ever refreshing, stringed rabbit hole.
It was on the day Donald Trump was elected that we became uncomfortably familiar with Royal Columbian Hospital. A month before we hopped on an aquabus near Granville Island and tied the knot, the Man from New West received a diagnosis of stage four colon cancer. We walked the blue line on the floor of RC many times until we shifted treatment to BC Cancer in Surrey, at which point we crossed back and forth on the Pattullo Bridge. Back and forth. Back and forth.
We received support from Polo Health + Longevity Centre as that New West man struggled to manage his cancer. And eventually we took over the back room of Heritage Grill, for a living wake.
On 25 September 2017, my husband was the recipient of Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) in the home we boldly purchased together during a year of disease, near the Fraser. His was the first assisted death in New Westminster. And thanks to the New West Hospice Society’s efforts to have New Westminster declared a Compassionate City, I don’t have to fear speaking about this end of life choice.
Being a Compassionate City will change how we act and what we we believe to be true by encouraging people and organizations to talk about dying, death and loss. Everyone becomes a compassionate neighbour, knowing what to do and what to say to those that are experiencing end-of-life. We envision a city with open dialogue in coffee shops & schools and caring for our neighbours when they need it. https://newwesthospice.ca/compassionate-communities/
MAID has been a legal right in Canada for over two years, but there are still so many – horrific – obstacles to its access. Since my husband died I have been learning about these obstacles, and raising my voice to bring change. Our experience was such a blessed one. The Fraser Health New West Palliative Team had never supported a MAID until they began to work with us, but they did not show the fear and judgement that some health care professionals are expressing. Instead they showed us the most beautiful mix of humanity and professionalism. And thank goodness for that, because the Man from New West released a lot of anger and fear in his dying. Perhaps you read about the elderly couple in Toronto who had simultaneous assisted deaths? They are somewhat the poster children for the peace that can come with this choice. And so I will continue to speak as I am to you right now, of what is most simply a choice. Just as in grief, there are no norms in death beyond the ones we make for ourselves.
The rain has stopped outside my window as I round these words out. The days are getting shorter and for each one of late, I hold a singular passage of the earth around the sun. Hold my year old heart. Hear the echo of an angry, insular man as he let go. But it’s not his anger I hear when I descend the wooden steps to Front St and Rain City Juicery, Hive Cafe, Old Crow, Fridays on Front. I hear the taunt of a broad shouldered, bearded man brimming with life, slipping his hand into the back pocket of my jeans and saying, “See?”
Photo credit for feature image: Ellie Ericson Photography
Newcomers to Canada face numerous challenges; they often miss their families, are unsure about employment, and face language barriers. Many Douglas College international students face these same challenges and fears every day while also trying to learn new things. Three international students in the Envision Financial-Douglas College Community Building Program, a marketing practicum opportunity, are currently building a marketing plan for Umoja Operation Compassion Society to bring awareness to the great work done by this non-profit.
What’s Umoja? The Umoja Operation Compassion Society is a non-profit organization that helps newcomers learn and grow while better adapting to the culture of Canada. They offer various programs like English lessons, parenting sessions, housing solutions, social connections, and more. Like many non profits doing great work, they are hoping to have a bigger reach through social media to help more newcomers to Canada. With the help of the Douglas students, Umoja hopes to expand and help even more communities.
“Building social and emotional wellness among immigrants is one of Umoja’s best accomplishments,” said Jamie Koop, Program Manager for Umoja Operation Compassion Society. “One of the reasons we applied for this opportunity was to build awareness, build capacity, and build a community for Umoja. It has been great to be able to work with such knowledgeable students that can take where we’re at and help sustain the organization in the long run.”
It’s a fairly standard practice that from January to April of every year, Douglas students work together with outside non-profit organizations to build strategic marketing plans – many New Westminster businesses and non-profits have had experience working with students. For the first time, however, these New West campus students have the opportunity to build something unique – a marketing campaign built off of their own experiences of being new to Canada. Being a part of the program means putting that experience and education into action by building capacity for non-profit partners. These non-profit partners benefit from the help of these students with their vast marketing knowledge.
“Being an international student, I feel very proud to work with Umoja and see the great impact it has made in the community,” said Gabriela Babun, one of the Douglas College students.
“After listening to the emotional and successful stories from Umoja’s clients, I would love to refer the organization to anyone who would ever need to settle in BC,” said Arzo Ghiasi, another student on the project. “It was definitely a worthwhile experience.”
Currently live on Umoja’s Facebook page is a video developed by the students. The video highlights the struggles and the successes of coming to Canada with the help of Umoja. This will help other newcomers find out that there are organizations there to help them. For the future, these students have developed a social media plan in order to bring in new potential markets, as well as get the awareness of what this non-profit does for the community.
To see what the past and current students are working on, check out Envision Financial at Douglas on Facebook. And save the date April 11: there will be a final event where the Umoja students Facebook-livestream and show off all that they have helped to create, so it’s worth tuning in.
For more info on the Envision Financial-Douglas College Community Building Program check out this page.
We live in trying times. Even though I’m more connected with my local community than ever before, my otherness keeps increasing. It’s the media, politics, economics, and the many -isms that falter but just won’t die. I fortunately am not directly affected by the international spectacle currently unfolding, but the resulting injustices along with the reactions to them that I see (especially the negative ones), replay constantly in my mind.
I feel helpless. I get incredibly frustrated, angry, jealous, and then I despair. When I’m feeling really low, I go to inclusive spaces that are welcoming, providing respite from the dark clouds I imagine gathering on the horizon. These places sustain me, allow me to regroup, to rise up another day. I’m lucky I can name three such spots right off the bat, all in New Westminster. Disclaimer – none of these places know that I love them this hard or that I decided to write about them.
I’ve heard the coffee at Old Crow is exemplary, but I cannot confirm that myself. The tea I’ve had here is the perfect temperature and brew, but what really blows me away is how sheltered I feel. I’m already at a disadvantage being a furtive tea-drinker in a coffee shop, but the atmosphere at Old Crow makes me feel like I’m part of the rainbow of their tapestry. The pared-down space, their accommodation of the needs of patrons with two or four-legged companions, how unhurried yet deliberate the pace inside is, it’s like an insulating bubble from the world outside. I savour my time at Old Crow; it’s a bit of a hidden gem out on Front Street but every time I’ve gone inside, my instant regret is the amount of time I’ve let lapse between my visits.
The feeling of belonging at Green’s and Beans is of a decidedly different nature than Old Crow. When I first started going here, I was incredibly intimidated. I’d be fumbling for my glasses and the Jeopardy theme would be playing, and finally I’d order one or three of a panicked-pick of a sandwich. Eventually I found my groove and my favourite sandwich, and relaxed enough to actually appreciate this place.
It’s unassuming, open early and some Fridays they make burgers. Their soups are divine. Leona, the owner, makes them from scratch and she probably has a dresser full of heirloom recipes somewhere. Her Thai-inspired chicken soup is worth fighting over; I’m sure people do, once the batch runs out but I’ve been lucky not to go there too late in the day. There’s also a scalloped potato soup, that has hits all the right comfort food notes, that has cured me of the blues more than once. I had a rough pregnancy last year, and a bad grief-inducing experience the year before, and Leona’s food, her ability to know when to play transit music and when to give peoples space to float by, really makes this place exceptional. Too often, I have felt like a faceless untethered nobody looking for a warm lunch, and that feeling evaporates when I’m at Greens and Beans. They know their clientele here, often by name, and they know their sandwiches.
I’m serious about the Jeopardy music though. Keep your glasses handy.
A hospital is not normally a place to recommend as a haven. In exceptional circumstances, however, if you do find yourself here, RCH, in my experience, is the most welcoming and inclusive hospital in the Lower Mainland.
A few years back, my father got incredibly sick. Once we had confirmed his diagnosis, he lived barely past the few months medical literature predicted he would. In the process of navigating the health care system during his illness, I got to sit and steep in a few different hospitals. The best one was RCH.
Don’t get me wrong, the standard of care in all the hospitals we visited was very high. Something about RCH sets it apart. I keep thinking back critically to my experience, and part of what makes RCH so good at what they do is the diversity of their staff itself. The doctors, nurses and social workers come from a large spectrum of backgrounds, and they connected from a place of compassion and respect regardless of who or what they perceived us to be. We weren’t just inconveniently ill strangers being ushered through a system; we were people going through a scary and tough time and they provided us the information, the tools and the support to come to terms with what was happening. Their ability to see us and embrace us as one of their own community, mattered a lot to us, and really makes a difference during a stressful hospital experience.
As I write this, bad news come to us from within our province’s borders as well as outside it. These are indeed trying times, but I feel so incredibly fortunate to be weathering this strange year in the inclusive supportive corners of this city, our city, New Westminster, the city of small havens.
I belong to a New Westminster-specific Facebook Group called Share New West. Have you heard of this group? Share New West is a community-driven group that promotes a “gift economy”. A gift economy is a mode of trade in which items are exchanged without any expectation of a future reward or payment.
Share New West believes that everyone has something to share and that “together we can achieve great things”. They have a defined mission: 1) To inspire and nurture a strong sense of community and 2) To reduce our collective carbon footprint by giving, sharing, and asking for things we might otherwise throw out or buy.
I’ve been really pleased to belong to this group and have been gifted a few little items I was looking for and was able to declutter quite a few items I was hoping to pass on. Typical buy and sell language that includes acronyms and abbreviated phrases (“GUC”, “next!” etc) is discouraged, and instead participants are encouraged to talk to one another as though you were on the doorstep of your neighbour’s house having a chat. Even Mayor Coté has gotten in on the sharing – and borrowed my lefthanders baseball glove.
Requests for items to keep or to borrow are encouraged, and I’ve been prompted to say “actually yes I have that, and I don’t use it, and you’re welcome to it, come on by and grab it”. It’s been a really positive experience. As well, discussions about the item, where you could buy it, where it might be available, and even compliments about something are all welcome. This is not a transactional group – this is a group that encourages community.
On April 28, one of the participants in Share New West posted a more unusual request. Monika wrote:
Monika and her fiancé, Maynard, decided to get married ahead of schedule. As she posted, Maynard’s mom and grandmother were flying from Nova Scotia for a visit and there was talk of a combined birthday party since four family members have birthdays within one another.
“I jokingly said let’s make it a big party and get married while they’re here too and then at least your grandmother can see the ceremony!” said Monika. To her surprise and amusement, he agreed and they started planning immediately.
Monika admits she was a bit anxious with asking on Share New West. “I honestly had no idea what to expect and after I posted I had so much anxiety! Wedding dresses are a big deal, and quite sentimental, or have good monetary value. I was mostly hoping that I wouldn’t be laughed at for asking for something so major.”
Her worry was unfounded however and the the response was immediate and incredible. Within a day there were no less than fourteen offers of a dress loan (one of which was me!), two offers for a cake, plus offers to help with flowers or other arrangements if needed.
Matisha Behnsen, another Share New West member, was one of the cake baking offerers. “I love to bake and when I saw her post, I remembered one of my favourite parts of my own wedding was the cake. I felt it was something I could offer that I do well at. I’m not a professional but I’ve been baking ever since I was little. I love how food brings people together and puts a smile on their face.”
Monika said yes to a dress mostly for fit, but also because it was love at first sight. “My ultimate goal was to find one that didn’t require any sort of altering due to the sentiment of the dress but also cost,” she said. “I did honestly love all the dresses I tried on. They were amazing, and all so beautiful.”
The owner of the dress, Desiree Savoy, also pitched in and secured a discount from local business Aloha Dry Cleaners to have her dress cleaned. “They did an amazing job of dry cleaning the dress! It had been stained with chocolate from post-reception fountain clean up, was black on the bottom from a night of dancing in the Foggy Dew, and had numerous other little marks. These stains had been on the dress for almost 12 years, and they got 99% of the stains out. I’m amazed it looks almost brand new!”
A discount on cleaning really helped, said Monika. “We had a very small budget considering the time frame and if I had the option to alter the dress I didn’t really have the funds ready, and just cleaning a wedding dress can be pricy.”
The wedding took place in the Rose Garden in Queen’s Park in June. “The ceremony was chaos, but perfect,” Monika reflected. “It rained. But the rain slowed to a light mist for the duration of the ceremony and it was great. I was late, but it worked out as there were a couple guests who got lost and we wound up having to wait for them anyways!”
Monika’s favourite part is that her daughter, Mara, was able to give her away.
Now, Monika has a deeper connection to our city. “I’ve always loved New West for its physical beauty, but I know now the beauty goes much deeper than the sights you see, the people within the community really make it shine,” she says.
Matisha sums it up for a lot of us “Sharers”. “The Share page has been so wonderful. Getting a chance to give and meet my neighbours has been such a wonderful experience for me. I have a lot of social anxiety so it can be difficult to take that first step to introduce myself to someone new. And the page has provided that for me.”
And sometimes, it provides a very special dress.